Conversations at work.

In the mailroom, I'm about to run about 100 checks through the postage machine. Enter the TINY JANITOR with a mop.

TINY JANITOR
I'm exhausted! I've been mopping the hallway and I'm all sweating.

ME
Well, what about me? Look at all these envelopes, I practically fainted stuffing all these checks.

TINY JANITOR
I don't even know why I'm mopping in here, I'm scrubbing so hard but the dirt doesn't come off this floor.

ME
I just pushed a button! I need to sit down!

In Shipping, I'm putting my packages together, and am approached by RICK.

RICK
Do you send things to Sara?

ME
Yes, all the time.

RICK
Do you put them in the rack?

ME
Of course not, I always put it on the shelf with the other stuff for Phoenix and LA, do you think I am an idiot?

RICK
Well, sometimes I find it on the rack. Where is Sara, anyway?

ME
In Phoenix.

RICK
O, I've been sending it to LA.

ME
Well, I'm sure they're sending it to Phoenix, 'cause there is only one Sara.

RICK
Um, are you sure it's not you?

ME
Absolutely positive. I have never never never put it in the rack rather than on the shelf. Ever.

(pause)

ME
Does it have a swirly under the name?

RICK
Yes, and the S is always really big.

ME
O. I guess that is me. Um, do I do it alot?

RICK
No, just a few times.

ME
Well, thanks for sending it on to the wrong city for me!

RICK
No problem.

I came into work wearing my hair in little bunches. THE RACCOON has a decco and says:

THE RACCOON
You know who you remind me of?

ME
No, who?

THE RACCOON
Remember that TV show with the little girl who wore different coloured shoes and mis-matched socks and her hair in ponytails.

ME
(thinking)
O my God, you don't mean Punky Brewster?

THE RACCOON
Yeah, that's her! That's what I'm going to call you from now on!

I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when THE BRAIN walks up to me and says:

THE BRAIN
I have such bad heartburn that I took my bra off!
(wanders away like a baby duck)

ME
(silence. I mean, what do you say to that?)

Today's horoscope:
A hectic schedule could lay you low. Avoid over extension. Pace yourself and say "no."

One year ago today:
Sometimes I think I'm the only one who starts out looking like a good Catholic girl and ends up looking like a chimney sweep.

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True true love by:
Meghan!

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Last Updated Fri 18 February 08:19:09 2000