So, yesterday was such a beautiful day and I spent most of it inside, so I was all like "Sunday I'm spending the day in the backyard! With the cats! Sitting in the sun!"

This morning I woke up, and I can see the sky through the window near my bed, and it was awfully white, but I thought that maybe it would get sunny later, and I got up and puttered around, going to the bathroom and putting on my overalls, and after about five minutes I looked up and saw out the window and screamed "What the fuck???!!!"

It. Was. Snowing.

And no, I don't mean a couple of flakes, I don't mean little tiny things that might be hail or ice, I mean big, fluffy flakes, giant white lumps of snow shooting out of the sky--it was a Christmas snow!

I got dressed and went out to get my breakfast with a bemused expression on my face, passing people with the same "What the fuck???!!!" look in their eyes.

It wasn't sticking on the sidewalks, because it wasn't freezing, but it was thick on the cars and the grass--I passed a patch of tulips absolutely encrusted with snow. One rarely sees a tulip like that.

It stopped an hour ago or so, but it's still everywhere. Another fascinating spring in NY!

So, the audition!

I got there half an hour early, because I am so likely to be late, and sort of hung out in the hallway with the other girls that were there. I peeked into the room, and there was a guy in there alone--I introduced myself and he told me to take a seat, that he was waiting for his partner, but then he came out into the hallway a couple of minutes later.

DIRECTOR
Are you the girl from the Moliere that Carol was in?

ME
Yeah, that's me, thanks for seeing me.

DIRECTOR
Well, actually, I didn't see the show--I had to go to a film premiere that night, so I sent my partner and she called my attention to you. Why don't you come in now, as you're the only one that we're seeing for the first time today.

DIRECTOR
When I saw this script, I told them that I wanted to shoot it on digital video, they said that I couldn't do that, but we are! I told them that I wanted to change 50% of the script, they said I couldn't, but I did!

ME
Uh-huh...

DIRECTOR
So, the movie is about a stripper who works at a bad strip club, but has a dream about starting a good strip club, a classy place that serves hors d'oeuvre, like cream cheese on celery, classy stuff like that, and it's called Chez Risque--House of Risk!

ME
Uh-huh...

DIRECTOR
But it's not about sex! You tell people that it's a strip club, and they thing that it's about sex, but it's not it's about people and relationships!

ME
Uh-huh...

DIRECTOR
And your character is...a woman of your stature, and a little skinny guy called The Professor goes to strip clubs to find love, and he sees you doing a belly dance, and he falls immediately in love!

ME
Uh-huh...

DIRECTOR
Now, it's not a big role, but it's all through the film, and it's not many lines, but we see you alot.

ME
Uh-huh...

DIRECTOR
We're shooting it on weekends, mostly, and we'd need you for about six or eight days, and there may be one or two days during the week. Now, nobody's getting paid and it's non-SAG...

ME
Okay, that's a problem. I did say on the phone that I'm in SAG and that the project must be SAG or SAG waiver.

DIRECTOR
O. Yes, I see that on your resume. Well, um, they didn't tell me that. Okay, well, on Thursday I'll find out whether I'm getting some SAG waiver, and if I do, will you be able to audition next week at the same time?

ME
Um, okay!

And that what the that! After all that work, I didn't get to do my monologue, though at least I have it all set now, if I ever need to do it again. But honestly, belly-dancing!

So then I wandered over to the movie theatre and caught a matinee of High Fidelity.

It was great! I dug it the most, but I expected to. John Cusack was all John-Cusack-y goodness, the two actors playing his employees, Jack Black (it drove me crazy until I remembered that he is the guy from Tenacious D) and Todd Louise were absolutely golden, and there wasn't a false note in the whole cast, down to the smallest role, except for the black hole where the leading lady should have been.

It wasn't so much that she was bad, it's just that she wasn't there--I mean, I believed that John Cusack was in love with her, was longing for her, because that's what he does the best, not because of anything she projected.

There was no there there.

But really, it didn't affect the film as much as it should have, because the movie isn't so much about Laura as it is about the idea of Laura. John keeps telling us about how wonderful she is, and as long as she stays offscreen, we buy it.

I recommend it very highly!

Top Five Films of John Cusack:

Say Anything
Grosse Pointe Blank
The Grifters
High Fidelity
The Sure Thing

Top Five Disastrous Miscalculations of John Cusack:

The Road to Wellville
Con Air
Pushing Tin
One Crazy Summer
Better Off Dead

When I got home, I decided to watch my beloved Grosse Pointe Blank with Cynthia and Fran.

I may not have put it first in the top five, but it's as close to being tied with Say Anything as it could possibly be, and I had lent my video to Cynthia and Fran some two years ago, but they had never watched it. So, when I got home I said "I'm watching Grosse Pointe Blank tonight, and so are you!"

And we did, and they loved it, as I knew they would. And, if you want to read my original review, it's here, and I still believe every word that I wrote them. Pay no attention to the animated Christmas tree, I was very young then.

And then, afterwards, we watched Christopher Walken on Saturday Night Live.

I adore Christopher Walken, and I've always loved him on SNL, but this was not only the best one that he's ever been on (only the excruciating "I'm 50!" sketch made me pray for death, and that wasn't his fault) but the best SNL I've seen in years.

We were screaming with laughter at the Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult sketch that I got the title of this entry from, and The Continental, which always kills me, and the census sketch, which was brilliant.

TIM
Do you work?

CHRIS
Well, only part of the time.

TIM
You have a part-time job? How many days do you work?

CHRIS
Every day, from 9 to 5.

TIM
But, that's a full time job!

CHRIS
O no, there are hours and hours at night when I'm not doing anything but sleeping, it's crazy!

I realize that that only looks kind of funny, but Chris Walken and Tim Meadows made it brilliant.

The musical guest was Christina Aguilara, whose Chris mispronounced a different way every time he had to say it, and she was hilarious as well. Maybe you have to be a singer to think so, but Cynthia and I were weeping with laughter at her vocal histrionics. I mean, it sort of seems like she has some pipes, but who can tell, when she doesn't stay on a note for longer than half a second!

Growling and squeaking and flying up and down the scale, we thought it was as funny as the census sketch!

I've been writing this entry for hours, long enough to say that now the sun is out and the snow it gone. What a weird day!

Today's horoscope:
Hone up on your competitive skills. You can put more concentration on improving your game today- be it tennis, golf, chess or something else!

One year ago today:
"Philadelphia is in Philadelphia!"

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Last Updated Sun 9 April 10:21:09 2000