The Mighty Kymm-28 September 1999

28 September

We're having that "journallers who don't answer their email are ungrateful meanies" conversation on Journal L again.

It comes up on every mailing list every few months or so, sort of round-robin and I always feel guilty and vow to do better, but I just decided fuck it. No guilt no more.

There are a million things to say, that if I spent all of my time answering email I wouldn't have time to write the journal, that I have a million other on-line obligations like Crit L, my burbs, my tape loop, and Open Pages that I'm behind on too, that I wrote the entry that I'm getting the mail about, isn't that enough, that I don't particularly like talking to strangers in real life let alone ones I can't see, that I have close friends whose email I don't answer, and do you have any idea how much mail I get every day, but these are all excuses and I no longer feel the need to make excuses.

Are you writing only to get a response, not because you have something to say? Honestly, if you're gonna stop reading a journal because the writer didn't answer your mail, then you're too high-maintenance a reader and I won't miss you when you stomp off in a huff.

And by "you" I don't mean everyone reading, I only mean those annoyed at me because of unanswered email. Which may well be everyone reading, knowing how backed up I am on email!

Boy that looks snotty, doesn't it?

Listen, I love you readers, I really do, I appreciate you coming to read my stories, and I love it when you write to tell me what has struck you, but I want you to know that though I want to answer everyone, I can't answer everyone.

Know that your mail means alot to me, but if you're expecting to become pen-pals, its probably not going to happen.

Here's what I wrote to Journal L this morning, some of which is already in this entry, but I have to go to work and don't have time to edit.

"I'm beginning to get the impression that demanding replies is rude. Most of the time the people who write me aren't my friends, but they think that reading my journal makes them my friend. We are free strangers, you are free to write me any comments that you want, but just because you have decided to do so does not create an obligation on my part. It's not like we agreed to get together and have a conversation, it was just your decision to talk to me--you didn't consult me as to whether I have any time this week for a conversation. And don't tell me that one email and an answered email doesn't start a conversation, because 3 out 5 times it does.

If you want to write to me and tell me your thoughts, I am thrilled and I appreciate it and I am happy to read what you have to say, but I already wrote the entry that you are responding to, I already did my writing.

I have decided not to feel guilty about not answering all of my email anymore. It's a waste of energy--I answer what I can and until I have fewer obligations or become independently wealthy and needn't spend eleven hours a day working/traveling to work, it will never be all. So I have let go."

I'm never gonna get any mail again, am I?

(butterfly line)

Today's horoscope:
Financial negotiations go well. Success is just ahead. You feel good about what you've accomplished.

One year ago today:
I guess "topless" now means "Not actually wearing a parka".

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Butterfly Delight by:
Beth!

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Last Updated Tues 28 September 08:24:09 1999