I spent all of yesterday in the backyard.

It was so sunny and beautiful and the humidity was low, and it was just heaven. Except for the bugs. I really could have done without the bugs, as I did end up with about twenty enormous bites, and not the regular kind of pimples that you get from skeeter bites, but instead those big flat white things that make you look like...

O, you know, those lumpy maps. What are they called, those maps where the mountains come up and it's just like my bug bites, all 3D.

I swear, it's like thinking of the perfect comeback, I'll think of the right word after I get to work and can't update and when I get home there'll be about fifty e-mails telling me the correct Lumpy Map term, and then I'll have to sneak it into this entry and pretend it was there all along.

Anyway, Giant Lumpy Map bug bites on my butt and my neck and my jaw and my upper cheek and my leg notwithstanding (and besides, the extreme lumpiness only lasted a few hours), it was worth it. Much rather be outside with the Map Producing bugs than inside all day.

The cats had a nice day romping and chewing grass and rolling on the cement, and, at one glorious moment only dreamt about in the past, chased an actual squirrel!

All of a sudden I heard this scrambling, and then Milo, eyes wide, came gallumphing by me, squirrel just out of reach. They ran towards Monty and Baldrick, then the squirrel jumped on the fence, shinnied up a tree, and sat atop a swaying branch, chattering in annoyance.

The three cats sat on the ground in shock, eyes wide, ears pinwheeling. "What the...did you see...and the thing ran by...I almost caught it, did you see...I would have caught it if you weren't in the way...I've never seen anything like that...I wonder if we'll ever see one again!"

A few hours later, when the cats were back in, I heard a rustling and looked up to see that the squirrel was back. I said "What were you thinking, coming into this yard while it was filled with cats!" and he, I swear, lifted his little paw and put it on his chest.

Very "Who, me?"

My question "What is New Jersey doing to protect its residents from the deadly mosquito-borne encephalitis? New York is spraying malathion, what is Jersey doing?" has at last been answered.

Chickens.

They put some chickens out into the air and they will be testing their blood so as to see if they get encephalitis. I certainly feel safe now, knowing that the State of New Jersey is out there on the front lines, chickens in hand, the first wave of defense.

Watching Katie Couric on the Today show being menaced by a horse's ass. And I don't mean Matt Lauer! Ba-dum-bum.

Today's horoscope:
Your mind and imagination are highly active, with many different ideas popping up. Combine intuition with logic for best results.

One year ago today:
Just need to get that groom...

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Beth!

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Last Updated Mon 13 September 09:13:09 1999