28 October
Babysat again last night.
And why did I do it two days in a row? Because I am a sucker? No, because it was both Fran's 40th birthday and his opening night, and what kind of a creep would I be not to let his wife go out with him on that night of nights?
Also, Cynthia would have raised my rent had I refused.
She picked me up with the kids in the car so that I wouldn't have to leave work early and we drove home.
On the way, Molls and I had this conversation:
"How old are you, Kymmie?"
"I'm thirty-five."
"Wooooowwwww, that's big."
"Listen, your Mommy and Daddy are both older than I am."
"Really? How old is Mommy?"
"She's thirty-nine."
"How old is Daddy?"
"Daddy just turned forty today."
"Forty??!!! I had no idea he was so tall!"
When we got home, I mentioned to Molly that it was time for bed, and she started whining "But I'm not even tired!"
I gave brisk answers in a sensible tone of voice like "You will be soon," and "Well, you can go to bed and lie there until you are tired," and, finally, "You know I don't care!"
I have come to the conclusion that reasoning with tiny kids when they are upset about something inevitable only makes things worse. As Molly was expressing her wishes about bed, I just kept going through the routine, told her a story, sang a few songs, and she went to sleep happily, she just wanted to make a small stand.
Another example was when Katie was holding Bonnie and she was going upstairs to do her homework and go to bed, and she said to Bonnie "Okay, Bonbon, Katie's going bye bye now," and Bonnie started crying and saying "No, peeeeeeeeaaaas, no!" and Katie sat down with her and cuddled with her and kept trying to leave by explaining that she was going to leave, and Bonnie would cry, and I finally said "Stop repeating yourself and beat it!" so she handed Bonnie to me and went upstairs and Bonnie stopped crying in thirty seconds.
But if she had had it explained to her in a loving tone a few more times that Katie was leaving, she would have worked herself into such hysterics that it would have taken me ages to calm her down. Present the things that are inevitable as inevitable rather than doing too much gentle reasoning, they will make their point with a little whining or weeping, but will move on if you don't let them think that you're going to change your mind.
On the other hand, be flexible on the stuff that it's possible to be flexible about. When I get up to go downstairs and Molly begs for one more song, I say "Okay, but just one!" and she knows that I mean it, so she gets one more song, but doesn't start crying for another one afterwards.
I let her win, but she knows that that's the limit. I'm a pretty good mom for someone who has no children, aren't I?
Today's horoscope:
Response and appreciation will be important today. Admiration and warmth are vital between colleagues: give and get some!
One year ago today:
For my next trick, I will reveal how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll centre of a Tootsie Pop...
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Autumn Red by:
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Last Updated Thurs 28 October 09:39:09 1999