29 November The Last Vacation Day (like The Last Doll from A Little Princess) was just fine, but I am desolated that it is over. Here is a selection of my notes for Guacamole Toes (not from yesterday, from the whole rehearsal period): "I love the stuff that you're doing when you come onstage, but do try to do it facing forward so that the audience can actually see you doing it." "Don't swallow 'fat ass'." "Try not to look quite so much like you're lying when you tell her that she doesn't have a fat ass." "That isn't how I blocked it, but I like it better that way. Keep it" "That isn't how I blocked it, and don't you dare keep it because it looks like shit!" "Let go of the walls for Chrissake, you're upstaging him so egregiously that he should just drag you downstage by your hair." "Kindly don't say shit if you drop a line." "Don't ice skate." "Great butt build!" "Bigger baubles." "Grab your tits." " 'Your mother gets wet very easily' is to Sabine. And don't be so icky." "Her father was not a woman, so don't say 'her'." "You did not lose your virginity at fifteen, you lost it at nineteen. Well, maybe you did but Heather didn't!" "Don't say ass, you're on the radio! Say butt for crying out loud!" "Cynthia, the line is 'Had you every heard your parents having sex', try not to almost say 'Have ever had sex with your parents'!" "The other stage right." "Be dirtier. Dirtier I say! Everything is dirty." "If you don't walk onstage during the first half of that speech, I'll come down out of the light booth and kill you." "When you say 'She was on Springer' you sound as though you want to head out to the parking lot and eviscerate her with your teeth. Don't be so angry!" "Maybe you didn't mean to, but please don't say 'D'oh!' " "Be facing him so that he doesn't have this wonderful moment about you being the love of his life to the back of your head." By the by, if anyone wants to come and see this show directed by me, written by Pamie and starring Cynthia, it's part of an evening of one-acts this Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, 30 Nov and 1&2 Dec at 8.30p at Creative Place Theatre, 750 8th Ave. I did an Amazon wish list last night, and I'm mentioning this not because I want any readers to get me presents, but because enough of my off-line friends, ones who may need gift ideas, read this, and I wanted to let them know. And friends, if you really want to give me a present, go to my Wish List through my Amazon Associates portal! It's the gift that keeps on giving! It may not be up until this afternoon. I didn't read any email this weekend, so I missed hearing about this until last night. My God, poor Al and Barb, what a dreadful thing to go through--I can't even begin to imagine, no-one could without it happening to them. They are in my prayers. Today's horoscope: Give up your habit of underestimating your abilities. You're much better than you think! One year ago today: Did you not know that I am flighty and pouty and heedless? All of my secrets are being revealed... * Yesterday / Index / This Month / Tomorrow * E-Mail Whole new way of looking at life by: Michael Moore! This page was written by hand. My hand. Only pussies use HTML editors. Last Updated Mon 29 November 10:15:09 1999