22 November On Saturday, I felt as though I were all eyes. Has that ever happened to you? A neverending stream of images flowing into your head, and everything is special and everything is itself in a way that nothing else can be. And every moment not seen properly is a moment lost. I wanted to go downtown to " 'Oodsun Straaait between Horaaaatio and Jaaaane" and get these sausages with ginger and leek that I tasted the last time I was there, and that were apparently enchanted in some way, because I am neither the type to put something like sausages with ginger and leek into my mouth unbidden, nor to obsess about them for two months until I had a moment to go back and buy a pound of them. It was on the way down that this thing happened, this way of seeing. It was as though I usually wore blinders and could only see a small band in front of my eyes, but now I could see 360°. I think it was because of the sky. It was very cloudy--not overcast, but full of big puffy clouds, and I was on the bus hanging my head back and looking straight up at them. For about thirteen years of the seventeen that I have lived in New York, I subscribed to the notion that if you look up, you look like a tourist, so I never did. I no longer have this horror of looking like a tourist, as I don't believe that I could look like a tourist if I tried with a stick, so now I stare into the sky unabashedly, like I'm looking for God. And they were so beautiful, the clouds, and I felt like I could see what they really were, their true nature. I mean, I have always heard that cloud banks can be hundreds of miles long, and I really could see it, and in each section of the sky they were different and beautiful, and every moment they were changing, and every moment not seen was a moment lost, and I didn't care how strange I must have looked in the bus, leaning against the window with my head straight back like I had no muscles in my neck. And I could see them moving, wheeling past us, and I felt that the earth was turning, which is something that we all know in our heads, but seldom feel to be really true... I meant to go to the movies, but I didn't make it, and I meant to go to church, but I didn't make it, and it ended up so lovely that it would have been a sin to spend more than a minute indoors, so I wandered around downtown Christmas shopping, and really seeing everything that I passed, not just sliding my eyes across them while thinking of something else. I was in the moment. Today's horoscope: An opportunity to lead comes your way. You're in a position to move and motivate others. One year ago today: "I think she must have been in the nesting stage!" * Yesterday / Index / This Month / Tomorrow * E-Mail Whole new way of looking at life by: Michael Moore! This page was written by hand. My hand. Only pussies use HTML editors. Last Updated Mon 22 November 09:51:09 1999