26 May
Well, yesterday I sort of talked about it as a throwaway comment, but I have decided to go into it in detail, because I really am very upset, though few others seem to be.
Once upon a time, in 1996, I discovered that other people did what I was doing, keeping an online journal, and there was actually a whole ring of them called Open Pages, run by a girl called Ophelia Z, but her real name was Kat.
I really liked Kat's journal, and I joined Open Pages and started helping her police the sites, and we got really friendly and she made me her deputy, sort of second-in-command for Open Pages.
Then, one day, she decided that she wasn't going to be keeping a journal anymore, and gave me the ring to run myself, and gave Diary-L, the mailing list, to this friend of hers, Ryan.
I didn't know from Ryan, as he was new on the scene, but I wasn't entirely crazy about him because I got the impression that he wanted to take Open Pages away from me, and he was awfully pushy for a newcomer. He seemed nice, but we weren't pally. I gave his journal a try, but it didn't particularly grab me--it wasn't bad, it just wasn't my scene.
Time passes, and a couple of days ago it comes out that there never was a Kat, that it was only ever Ryan, and most of the posts on Diary-L were along the lines of "Hooray! Ryan is great! Let's give a parade for Ryan and hire a brass band because he's just so cool to have been Kat!"
Some people are saying "We thought that Kat was gone, but now we're so happy because she's been here all along!"
My reaction is slightly different. My reaction is more along the line of she was never there in the first place. There is no Kat, there never was a Kat, and I do not embrace Ryan as the person that I was friends with in 1996-97, because I was friends with a fictional character. I realize that Ryan didn't invent this persona in order to make friends with me and tell me lies, Lord knows that he started this and then it spiraled out of control and he got out as best as he could.
This does not change my feelings.
And how exactly do I feel? Well, you know at the end of Tootsie when Julie says to Michael "I miss Dorothy," and Michael says "You don't have to. She's right here." Well, I think that Julie's reaction to that should be:
"Bullshit."
Today's horoscope:
Today, logic and practicality are necessary. Do some problem- solving, focusing on an area needing improvement.
One year ago today:
I don't think I can adequately describe exactly how horrible my rehearsal was last night.
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Last Updated Wed 26 May 10:16:09 1999