20 March
So, last night was opening night of my show.
The way Love Creek does the one act festivals is they have a set of shows at 7p and a separate set at 9p, but since the building closes at 11p, the longer evening is usually put at 7p so there is time to clean up and get out before everyone turns into pumpkins.
The 7p show was supposed to end at 8.45, which would have given us 20 minutes to set up my show, if we started at 9.05p, but one of the shows in the 7p evening went on for ten minutes longer than it had at tech, so the evening came down practically at 9p.
Have I mentioned the door?
Well, my play requires a door. It is a farce, where people run in and out through the door, and the door must squeak. We were first told that we couldn't have a door, because there is no doorframe in the studio we were using, but I begged, so we were told that we could borrow the doorframe from the studio above.
Well, during tech on Thursday night, we couldn't get the doorframe from said studio above, because this stupid acting class was there and they were using it. So we had to tech with an invisible door, exactly as we had been rehearsing with an invisible door for a month.
So, at 8.58p or whenever, we could finally bring the door down, so I grabbed the two biggest and strongest men from the other shows and asked them to carry it for me.
That was when we noticed that it wouldn't fit through the door. The real door. It was just a little too wide, and we had no time to take the frame off the doorframe, so we decided to just work with the invisible door.
That we had been rehearsing with for a month.
Have I mentioned the tape player?
When we got to tech, we found that the stereo that we use had broken, and there was just the tiniest little tape player available--the flat kind that we had in my house in the 70's--and I volunteered to bring in my boombox for the show. So I had my boombox, and I decided to play a cd at the beginning of the show so that I wouldn't have to switch tapes so quickly for that first door squeak. Of the invisible door.
So it was music music music, house lights out, pre-set out, music out, switch it over from cd to tape, lights up, and realize that I hadn't switched it to tape, but to radio. It was down so low that no-one heard but me, thank heavens, but I missed the first door squeak, and then the second, so I decided that the invisible door would have an invisible squeak.
It's not a particularly naturalistic play, I didn't imagine that the audience would leap up as one and yell "Hey! How does she know the door opened when it didn't make a sound?!" I mean, let's be real--if they were concentrating on door squeaks that weren't there and not the naked bodies onstage, we were in trouble anyway.
Naked sweaty bodies onstage.
It was so hot in the theatre! They had the heat, which we have no control over, on full-blast, so all we could do was turn on the air, which wasn't much help.
We were worried that it would be too cold and there would be the shrinkage factor and that the show would be all about goosebumps and nipples, but instead it was hot enough to melt lead.
Also, during the blackout, a shirt is supposed to be placed on top of the Rolodex on the desk, but instead it was nowhere near the Rolodex, but instead on the middle of the desk, entirely in the way of the actress who has to not notice it for half the play!
The actors covered nicely, but, as I suggested to the actor that places the shirt, I realize that it's dark as the inside of a cow's stomach, but to please try to get the shirt a trifle nearer to the Rolodex tonight.
And then, when I went to the bar afterwards, some girl (not from Love Creek) threw up on me when I was on my way out. She only nicked me, so to speak, splashing my jacket and bag just a bit, but she threw up exactly where I had been standing for twenty minutes, so it was a lucky escape, on my part.
So we had more than our share of Noises Off moments, but, as Geoffrey Rush says in Shakespeare in Love:
"Strangely enough, it all turns out well! It's a mystery!"
Today's horoscope:
A good time to tackle some small home improvement tasks you've been putting off. Direct your critical eye toward fix-it tasks.
One year ago today:
"You know, with all this hornpipe music going on, the ship can't sink fast enough for me."
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Last Updated Sat 20 March 12:43:09 1999