13 January
I got my new pair of glasses.
I cannot stop staring at myself in the mirror in horror and fascination, jaw dropped, the whole bit. I had no idea that I would be so thrown by them.
Okay, some backstory. I have worn glasses since I was twelve years old, but have only worn three different styles. First were the silver rimmed aviator glasses (grade school, early high school), then the rimless pink tinted glasses (high school and college), then the black rimmed bookish glasses (1986 to the day before yesterday).
And now the new ones. They are small and oval with stripy metal frames, but you cannot see the coloured stripes unless the light is shining off them, so they're real subtle--I don't look like a peppermint stick.
They're great glasses, they really are, but...
My glasses, my old glasses, are part of my face. I don't think of them as glasses so much as just another feature--I have gotten into the shower wearing them, I have lain down to go to sleep wearing them and only noticed that something was wrong when I realized that I didn't have to squint at the clock. I could never get into contacts because I think I look weird without my glasses.
So I would look in the mirror and see them as part of me, and when looking through them I wouldn't notice the weight on my nose or the black lines of the frames in my peripheral vision.
It's like I never thought of myself as looking through my glasses any more than I think of myself as looking through my eyes, but now I am hyper-aware of it. I can feel them on my face every second, and the frames are distracting because they are in the wrong place, and they don't rest on my cheeks and they are so small.
Wearing different glasses, it's like I have a different nose; it's a much bigger change than dying my hair black. I feel as though I am wearing a costume, like I'm pretending to be somebody different.
I think I look like a stranger.
When I was walking to the van yesterday morning, the van driver saw me from a block away and waited for me, and I swear I thought "How did he recognize me? I look completely different!" but of course from a block away he couldn't see my glasses at all, he recognized my big red coat.
Then at work some people commented on them and said that they look good, but some people didn't seem to notice at all, and I thought that was so strange. It's as though I expected them to say "Who are you and what are you doing in Kymm's cubicle?"
I think I look completely unrecognizable. But nobody else seems to. Doesn't anybody know who I am? Doesn't anyone know what I look like? I don't look like this!
I do like them, actually, I like them alot, but I'm a little freaked out. Not so you'd notice, though, I imagine.
Today's horoscope:
You will need to compromise with a household member between wider horizons and the familiar home scene.
One year ago today:
"If women want to be treated equally, they should..."
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Last Updated Wed 13 January 21:15:09 1999