So yesterday I went to Disneyland!

But first, since it was a day of obligation, I had to go to church, so I went to the 8.30a mass so that I could get to the Happiest Place on Earth at a reasonable hour, i.e. in time to have breakfast at Carnation.

Man, you wanna see some deserted streets, you drive around LA to 8.30a on New Years Day. It was like being the only survivor of a nuclear blast.

I never go to early morning mass, but it was really interesting. It was less presentational and more conversational. Very homely, very comfortable. I liked it.

So I got out of church at 9.15a and immediately drove to Disneyland.

The freeway was as clear as can be until I was about a half mile away from the exit, and everything screeched to a halt. You see, the main freeway exit was being repaired or worked on or whatever, so they were using a different exit and not the main parking lot, and everything was so slow that I was able to sort out the newspapers while I was waiting. It took an hour from that point.

Then there was such a long line for the bathroom, then to buy tickets, and then at Carnation (they halved the seating, God only knows why) that by the time I sat down, it was 11.20a, and breakfast was over.

Man, if I can't get breakfast when I leave at 9.15a, it clearly isn't ever going to happen! I give up. I wash my hands of breakfast at Carnation.

Then I did the second part of the opening Disneyland ritual (the first part being missing breakfast at Carnation), and went on Small World.

And it was different! It was all Christmas-sy, and they sang Jingle Bells rather than just Small World! I vaguely remember then doing the same thing last year, but it was still pretty fresh to me.

Of course, were I a cynical type, I would say that replacing half of the instances of Small World, the most annoying song in the world, with Jingle Bells, the second most annoying song in the world, is hardly an improvement, but I love Small World, so I'd never say that.

Then I went on the Matterhorn, which was, like Small World, a surprisingly short line! I mean, the place was a zoo, but the lines really were relatively short!

Then I went on Snow White and Pinochio, and I'm telling you, if you ever want to feel like the biggest freak alive, just be a woman in her 30's alone at Disneyland going on the kiddie rides!

Then I got in a line that removed all thought that this would be an easy line day.

I didn't even know what the line was when I got into it, I just knew that they had re-opened Tomorrowland since I was last there and that this was a new ride and I wanted to go on it.

I was in line for half an hour before I saw a sign that said that the ride was called Rocket Rods. I was not enlightened.

It was one of those lines where every time you turned another corner or walked into another room, you saw a bunch more line. It was mind-numbing. But they had these films that they projected on the walls that basically made it seem as though Rocket Rods (sound like a porn film) was like a prototype of transportation in the future.

The line ended up being two hours and fifteen minutes long. The ride ended up being this sort of high-speed tour of the park in this hot rod thing (apparently, in the future everyone will have really narrow asses).

It was really cool, but it wasn't worth no two hours and fifteen minutes of my life.

After that, I didn't accomplish a thing for two hours.

It was as though standing in that line for so long had completely destroyed my decision-making capabilities, except for the one thought I could cling to--that I wanted nothing to do with standing in any more lines.

I finally ended up going to the soap and candle shop that I realized was the shop that started my soap obsession a year ago, so I bought three bars of soap, two packets of bath salts, a bath bomb and a candle to celebrate.

Then I had dinner (after being almost unable to choose out of the four restaurants in New Orleans "Well, Blue Bayou has the best food, but also the longest line...), and, fortified, tackled Pirates of the Caribbean.

The line wasn't bad, and then, for The Haunted House, there was no line at all! It may have been a product of my fevered brain, but I really do think that I got in right away. Then I went to Splash Mountain and Country Bear Jamboree. I love Country Bear Jamboree, but even if I didn't, who wouldn't, at that point, ant to sit own and stare mindlessly for fifteen minutes.

One of the reasons that I love it is because a family friend, Pierre Renoudet, did the voice for Henry, the MC bear.

There were these two girls ahead of me in the line at the Haunted House and Splash Mountain and they were wearing these headbands with mouse ears made of glow-stick material, so I went off and bought a pair and wore them for the rest of the evening.

I went on Jungle Cruise and Peter Pan, and got many strange looks. Then I bought a balloon.

You see, about twenty years ago they stopped selling my favourite balloons, which were these coloured mouse-shaped balloons inside clear round ones, and I have been complaining ever since. And yesterday, they were back! So I bought one, figuring that I wasn't quite silly enough, just with the ears on.

At that point, I was about ready to faint, so I went home, all Magic Kingdom-ed out.

I love Disneyland.

Today's horoscope:
Drama is in your life. A great day for a masquerade party, magic show, theater, charades, or movies at home.

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