My voice is gone gone baby. Couldn't be gonner.

Well, it could be gonner, actually, as I've been resting it, but it's still pretty limited. And it's all from that scream last Thursday. Not to mention screaming at tech on Sunday, but it wasn't very scream-y that day.

So yesterday I spent the day whispering to save my voice, which made for an interesting work day. I told The Raccoon that she would have to make any calls that needed making, but I ended up making a couple of quick calls, startling the people on the other end of the phone, who seemed suspicious, as though I were an obscene caller.

What I thought was really amusing was that sometimes I would go up to someone like Chekhov and whisper, "You coded this wrong. It needs to be 20-400 because Marketing is only in California, there is no budget for New York", and he would whisper back, "Okay, I'll fix it!"

"No, sweetie, it's not a secret, I've just lost my voice!"

So, continuing about my weekend, which may take me a week at this rate, we went back to the house and Colleen made cookies and Melissa made ziti.

There ended up being two more people than I expected there, Corina and her husband. I was a little taken aback, because I really hate meeting too many strangers at a time, and my Stranger of the Day was supposed to just be Elizabeth, but they both ended up being really great and really fun, until I couldn't imagine that the evening would have been anything like as much fun without them.

For instance, there wouldn't have been the Ass Cookies!

It was the most quick-witted bunch, I swear, all writers and actors (but for one cartoonist and one lawyer), all building jokes over the course of the evening, brick by brick, all working together and then calling back. We bonded!

It did my voice no good at all, trying to yell my punchlines over the din, but I wouldn't have missed it.

Let me see if I can remember the development of the Ass Cookies.

They were dipping cheese in mustard which was, to me, like a dog marrying a cat, a sin against God and Nature, which somehow led to Government cheese, which led to Corina talking about Government peanut butter in Home Ec class, giant cans of the stuff that you had to open with a can opener that made cookies that tasted like ass. Which led to Gingerbread Ass Cookies, which are the bit left over after you eat the arms and legs and head, so then, of course, the cookies that were there, Colleen's cookies, became the Official Ass Cookies. And then, after Amanda came, she said that she kept thinking that we were talking about donkeys, so they became Arse Cookies.

We said that twenty years from now, Colleen would no longer remember why they were called Ass Cookies, and would be at a loss when her children asked. Let alone when they brought them to school and said to their teacher "Here are the Ass Cookies!" "What?!" "O, okay, Arse Cookies!"

Don't forget to send me your address if you want a Christmas card! Also, if you want to come and see if I have voice enough to scream, the show is tomorrow, Thursday and Friday the 8th, 9th and 10th of December at 9p at Creative Place Theatre, 750 8th Ave. and tickets are $12.

Today's horoscope:
You will need to compromise with a household member between wider horizons and the familiar home scene.

One year ago today:
My walls are so high, I'm surprised that they are not visible from space, like the Great Wall of China.

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Christmas Cheer by:
Brittly!

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Last Updated Fri 3 December 09:50:09 1999