So yesterday was my first day of The Raccoon's vacation. I don't like being Temporary Raccoon, too damn many phone calls. And whereas Kymm is cavalier about returning her calls, as Deputy Raccoon I feel that I must answer all queries. What a drag.

What's with these weird Coors commercials where that guy is talking about John Elway as though he were a combination of Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig and Jesus?

I notice in the latest ones that John Elway himself is in the tag, presumably because everybody thought that he was dead, the way the announcer was talking about him.

Have you seen that promo for the new show The West Wing? The "Potus in a bicycle accident" one?

Well, if you haven't, Rob Lowe is with this hooker or something and she says "Your beeper went off when you were in the shower, it says 'Potus in a bicycle accident' " Cut to him about to leave and her saying "Tell your friend Potus he's got a funny name." And Rob says "He's not my friend, he's my boss, and that's not his name, it's his title." "Potus?" "President Of The United States."

To which the only response would be "O,shut up, Rob."

So do you mean that if I watch this show, I'll get to see Rob Lowe playing the smuggest person on television every single week?! I'm not entirely certain if I can contain my joy.

Okay, that "Mellow Yellow" Gap commercial has me scratching my head. There must be a reason that they're singing about yellow whilst clad all in grey, but it's just too deep for me.

Ah, the All Advert edition of The Mighty Kymm's Hedgehog Tales. Well, they can't all be The Three Sisters. Actually, none of them are The Three Sisters. I need to start shoe-horning some Russian names into this thing tout suite.

"And then I said 'Baldrick Baldrogovich, stop unraveling the screen, we'll never get to Moscow! And I am a seagull.' "

Today's horoscope:
Relaxed pleasure is the order of the day. Don't be surprised to find yourself and household members more laid back than usual.

One year ago today:
"Just ignore the fact that the third guy is a big loser!"

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Froggy froggy afternoon by:
Brittly!

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Last Updated Fri 20 August 07:35:09 1999