She only broke four toes.

I didn't kill the usher yesterday, she bumped her head and broke four toes when the bus hit her because I sent her out for change.

Kirsten, the last person to get hit by a bus on that corner, went to visit her at the hospital yesterday, and found her just being released. She was so relieved, as she was really shook up by the whole incident.

Four little broken toes. That's nothing. Thank God.

Last night was five hours at the box office for the Samuel French, exhaustion, and a blinding headache. What is it about buying tickets that make people completely stupid?

My favourite question was from one guy who came at 8.30p and asked when the show was over. I said 10.30p, and he whined "But I don't want to stay that long!" It's one-acts, for God's sake, anyone can leave whenever they want, though preferably not in the middle of a show.

Let alone the fact that they had to remain quiet in the lobby or they would be heard in the house. You'd think that people were physically unable to whisper or something.

And how much damn water is in celery anyway?

I bought some celery to make my Mom's tuna salad with on Friday, and last night it was a solid block of ice just from sitting in my refrigerator! And you can't unfreeze celery either, it just goes completely limp.

I think it's only the strings that keep it from returning to it's natural state all along, the Tub of Goo state.

So, no tuna salad for me.

And I really wanted tuna salad, too.

On Thursday I was saying how much I craved my Mom's tuna salad, but there would be too much for me (one sandwich and that craving would be sated). So The Raccoon says "What's in it?"

"O, just minced celery and onion and chopped hardboiled egg and a little bit of sweet relish and mayonnaise, but not much mayonnaise as I don't like it squishy."
"Well, if I provide the tuna, will you bring me some?"
"Sure!"

And she pulled a can of tuna out of her drawer, like a magic trick! I went all goggle-eyed, and she explained that she had felt like tuna the other day, but had ended up not making a sandwich after all.

But no celery, no tuna fish sandwiches! Not tomorrow, at any rate. Sigh.

Heard while watching Tamales World Tour on the Food Channel:

"We're gonna get you guys excited about tofu!"

There is really nothing on TV on Sunday at 4p, is there?

Today's horoscope:
Today you can get an awful lot done! Productivity, accomplishment and competence are highlighted.

One year ago today:
Huh? Is this some third reality?

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Last Updated Mon 19 April 09:39:09 1999