8 April
I have become completely obsessed with my bruised thumbnail.
I'll bet you've all forgotten my bruised thumbnail, haven't you? You know, that's what's wrong with you people, you don't spend enough time thinking about me and my needs.
Anyway, I stare at it all day long, and am very sad that it is disappearing. The top of it is only just barely at the top of my nail, so it will be in my life for the next four months, but because the bruised part has bubbled up and the new nail has grown in underneath, it has actually broken enough so that water gets in when I bathe or wash dishes, and it, get this:
Washes out my bruise!!
It is hideously upsetting. It's still black around the edges, but in the middle it's kinda yellow. I don't want it to go away. I'll have to go home and have Mom slam the sliding glass door on it again.
Molly loves my bruised thumbnail, too.
The first time she noticed it, she asked what had happened to it, and I told her that my Mommy had slammed a door on it. Cynthia jumped in with "But it was an accident, wasn't it, Kymmie? And she felt really badly about it, didn't she?"
I concurred. Then Molly said to Cynthia "You did that too, Mommy, you slammed my thumb in a door," and Cynthia replied, "I did? I don't remember doing that. And if I did, I would have felt very very bad about it." Molly answered "Well, it was a long long time ago."
Now, every time I see her, we have the same conversation:
"What's that, Kymmie?"
"You know, I told you!"
"Who hurt your thumb?"
"You tell me. Who slammed the door on my thumb?"
And she gleefully crows: "Your Mommy!!!"
Nothing on earth is less funny than those 1-800-COLLECT commercials. And I do not, surprisingly enough, mean those awful ones with that idiot David Arquette, I mean the ones with the guys sitting around in the living room watching the game, you know, with Ed O'Neill and Damon Wayans.
I love Ed O'Neill (ever seen Popeye Doyle? He was great in that.), and he is reasonably good in the commercials in question, but Damon Wayans, previously seen to be a pretty funny guy, is so unfunny as to be practically dada.
Which normally would mean that it would be funny, but not in this case. Saying unfunny things in a funny voice while the other actors laugh uproariously will not fool the viewers into thinking that it actually is funny.
And who the hell are all these people constantly making collect calls? I have made maybe two collect calls in my whole life. Are these ads targeting prisoners?
More gorgeous weather yesterday. I love April.
Today's horoscope:
Playfulness predominates. Go for lighthearted activities. Put off more serious matters til another day.
One year ago today:
"Nothing can really be wrong on such a beautiful day!"
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Last Updated Wed 7 April 09:19:09 1999