So, yesterday not only was I still deaf, but I had cramps, I had to fight with my bank on the phone for an hour, and it was raining.

What am I, Job?

I did manage to bring an umbrella to work, for practically the first time ever, but that was only because someone left one at the theatre the other day and never came back for it, so it was in my bag.

I went into New Chick's cubicle and told her that I was deaf and she said that she had a cold or something and her throat hurt and she was exhausted and ached all over and I said that not only was I deaf, but I also had cramps, so between the two of us we had all of the symptoms that there were to have!

Except for that one where you bleed out of your eyes.

And no, I didn't have cramps because my much touted Aleve no longer works, but because I had run out and by the time I got to the drugstore to get some more they had already begun in earnest, and if you don't head them off at the pass you're fucked up the ass.

Nice bit of poetry, that!

When I was at the store I noticed the five hundred giant signs indicating that Mother's Day is this Sunday, so I thought I'd browse the card aisle, but of course I couldn't find anything that wasn't utterly soppy or completely idiotic.

I was fascinated, however, by a small selection of Mother's Day cards purportedly from the dog. Who buys these things?

Now, if it was from the cat, that'd be normal...

Did I mention that I was doing a new show?

Yeah, another Tennessee Williams piece! It's this completely loony show called Gnädiges Fräulein and I have a huge lead rife with two page monologues. We had the first read-through last night, and I really do have every other line. I'm looking forward to it, but my God! The memorization!

I've only been deaf at work for one day and I have said "Hey, give me a break, I'm deaf!" about 135 times.

Shit, if it's permanent in any way I'll drive people crazy!

Late breaking news!

I just spent half an hour obsessively flushing out my ear and it finally popped. Then plugged. Then popped. Then plugged.

Then popped!

And no, a votive candle or something didn't pop out of my ear canal, so I don't know what the problem was. And I don't care!

I can heeeeeeeear!!!!

Later breaking news.

Deaf again. But at least I know it's fixable!

One year ago today:
New York has now OFFICIALLY turned into LA.

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Last Updated Wed 6 May 09:40:09 1998