(The Mighty Kymm--you'll not see nothing like!)


29 March

Sorry this is so hideously late, shugs, but I couldn't finish this before I had to leave for rehearsal, and then it was much too pretty to come straight home, so you're getting the evening edition today!

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Yesterday was like the best damn day.

It started off with the plumber coming to fix my leaky bathtub faucet, (and that was really nice because it wasn't just a drip, it was this giant stream of water), then I went to rehearsal, (which wasn't that good, but I have faith), and it was the most beautiful day that I've ever seen, and I went to The Body Shop and got lots of exfoliates and gels and scrubs and creams, and then I saw Grease!

The funny thing was that I wasn't entirely crazy about the movie when I saw it when I was 13, because I loved the stage version so much and had the cast album and listened to it over and over, so when the movie had extra songs and some of my faves gone, all I could think was "Hey, that's wrong! Kenickie sings "Greased Lightnin'", not Danny!" And I flat out loathed the ending!

Not to mention the fact that I hated Travolta at the time--in fact, I didn't think he could act until Pulp Fiction, and I didn't think he was cute until Get Shorty, so I found the movie mildly irritating.
When I was 13.

But yesterday I loved it!

Stockard Channing was a gas, and I loved Edd Byrnes, and Travolta and Olivia were just swell. Everyone in the audience was either my age or a tiny child holding the hand of someone my age. I was sitting there watching it, thinking that not many children's movies are made today containing the words "You know that I ain't braggin', she's a real pussy wagon".

The funny thing was that I remembered how old everybody looked when I was a kid (Stockard was great, but if she was a high school student she must have been left back about fifteen times), but now that I'm 33 all I could think of was that they all looked so young.

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I had the most hideous insomnia last night, and why? Because I was looking around for Grease lyrics to use in my javascript entry titles (I know I know the songs, but cutting and pasting is easier than remembering!) and found nothing but horrid mistakes everywhere, and they kept running through my head for hours and hours.

The worst errors were in the songs "Freddy My Love" and "Hand Jive", it was as though someone was transcribing the lyrics by listening to a scratchy record played at a low volume in another room. And then everyone else just copied it from the first person!

Okay, okay, look, here's what's all over the damn net:

Before I was born, late one night
My papa said everything's alright
The doctor paid, mama laid down
With a semitone bouncing all around
Cause the beebop stork was about to arrive
Mama gave birth to the hand-jive
I could barely walk when I looked in town
When I was three, I pushed the fly
While jumping would I move my legs
And I saw the dance while I gathered A's
Bowed and clapped, I was only five
And I danced 'em all, he's born to hand-jive

And here are the real lyrics. There may be a tiny mistake or two, as I did it from memory (My Grease album is still packed), but it sure makes more sense than the idiot version!

Before I was born, late one night
My papa said everything's alright
The doctor laid my mommy down
With her stomach bouncing all around
Cause the beebop stork was about to arrive
Mama gave birth to the hand-jive
I could barely walk when I milked a cow
When I was three, I pushed a plow
Was jivin when I moved my legs
And started dancing when I gathered eggs
Bowed and clapped, I was only five
And I danced 'em all, he's born to hand-jive

"With a semitone bouncing all around" indeed...

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One year ago today:
That takes nerves of steel and a rock-steady hand, that does.

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Logo and graphics and every little thing by the one, the only:
Juan Maldonado!

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Last Updated Thurs 7 May 13:44:09 1998