24 March
I am not one of those people who bitch every year about the Oscars being dull--I usually enjoy them hugely and only find out the next day when I read the reviews that it was too long and too dull and the worst Oscar-cast ever. I mean, I remember flat out loving the Rob Lowe/Snow White duet!
I gotta tell you, though, this year really was as dull as dirt. Ah well, I wouldn't have missed it. A few more thoughts...
So I get home right as the Oscars are starting, and I sit down and there's the opening sequence and it's really great and then Billy comes onstage from the Titanic and then...either my cable went out or something happened with the satellite transmission, but the screen went black. I screamed: "What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK???!!!" and it came back, but I think I had a complete nervous breakdown in those three seconds.
Best dress: Kate Winslet.
The most surreal moment of the show was when whatshername introduced the singer of the nominated song from Hercules as "the exciting Michael Bolton". Four words that have never been in a row before, and never will be again.
Everyone said that it would either be Gloria Stewart or Kim Basinger, but probably Gloria would win. Everyone said that it be either be Burt Reynolds or Robin Williams, but probably Burt would win. These were the last surprises of the show, but at least they were partially surprising.
What the hell was that weird animal thing?
Probably the happiest person at the Oscars was not a winner, it was Alec Baldwin when Kim Basinger won. Now that's a supportive husband!
When Jennifer Lopez was announced and came onstage I could hear all one billion people watching the Academy Awards all over the world come together as one as they chorused:
"Who?"
Rick Baker has like ninety-three Oscars and he hogged all of their talking time and didn't let his co-winner talk at all! What a selfish bastard!
And why why why did Robin Williams, after giving such a lovely acceptance speech, have to do that bullshit boring shtick when he was a presenter later? I had to mute the sound.
I love Jack Nicholson, and he didn't embarrass himself the way he did at the Golden Globes, but my God I wanted Peter Fonda to win.
Since when do Best Actor and Actress come in the middle of the show? I realize that they are trying to keep people from tuning out, but to me that lessens the show, robbing it of the build.
Who'd have thought that the best speech would be given by the director of the Best Foreign Film? What a charmer!
I was hoping that someone would try to give his award to Jack Lemmon again, but nobody took the opportunity.
I see Ben Affleck and Matt Damon got the performing dog vote.
I don't know that it was the best idea in the world to, after forty-three hours of show, have a really long slow introduction of seventy former Oscar winners. That said, I must say that I really loved it. Many the cry was heard from my apartment:
"Jaysus, is he still alive?"
You sure can tell that it was a room full of actors, because when they introduced Shirley Temple with the name of the picture that she won for, Stand Up and Cheer, they clearly did!
I'd have given a kidney if Titanic had not won Best Picture, just to see the entire membership of the Academy faint like goats.
However, the moment of silence for the real people that died when the Titanic went down was quite startlingly moving.
We almost made it without someone saying that it was "A night to remember". Ah well, somebody had to say it.
I rarely spend alot of time patting myself on the back (not out loud in public at any rate), but there is a line in this entry that I think ranks with the best I have ever written. I really am awfully proud of it. Can you guess which one it is?
One year ago today:
What kind of fucking moron would ask a sixteen-year-old if they're a has-been or not?
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Last Updated Thurs 7 May 13:44:09 1998