I am in a pretty pissy mood.

My show last night sucked bigtime. No, that's not right, I sucked bigtime. Kevin cut off half a speech of mine, and I let that throw me for the rest of the show. And I'm not that throwable, so this must have been due to our being off for five days.

Afterwards I went to the bar for a little minute, but it was packed and noisy and I didn't have anyone to talk to so I booked home and burst into tears the moment I got there. When that was over, I threatened in e-mail to kick someone until they were dead, then posted to Diary-L for the first time in months to say what a boring pile of shit one thread was.

And I can't even blame this on ovulating! That was last week!

Fuck Valentines Day.

Another rotten stinking thing in the show last night was this fucking shitheel in the front row.

I spend about 2/3 of the show about six inches from whomever is sitting in the front row corner seat audience left, and this...this...this...piece of smegma sitting in that seat last night was wearing white trousers and jiggling his leg!

If you don't understand what a cardinal fucking sin this is, let me explain, slowly and clearly, using short words.

1. Don't sit in the front row.
2. If you must sit in the front row, don't wear light colours.
3. If you absolutely cannot avoid sitting in the front row and you really didn't mean to wear white trousers, but there's no time to go home and change, stay the fuck still!!!

Try to keep in mind that it's not video. We can, in fact, see you.

I was closer than you might imagine to kicking him in the kneecap during my show, and I really wanted to punch him in the head when we walked by him for the curtain-call! Afterwards, in the dressing room, I said that I hoped that he would die in a car crash on the way home. "O no, you don't think that" said all the unctuous people who don't understand me at all. But I did.

And who wears fucking white trousers in February anyway?

If I owe you e-mail, thank your lucky stars that I'm not answering it now, as I'd probably just tell you to go fuck yourself or something, whether I wanted to or not!

I'll answer you when I get out of this hole.

Did I just break the record for saying "fuck" in a journal entry?
I'm going for the gold, baby...

One year ago today:
"content content content!"

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Last Updated Sat 9 May 17:56:09 1998