I am feeling very colourful today. I have a bright blue bandaid on my nose and a bright purple thumbnail on my thumb.

I got the blue bandaid because we didn't have any little bandaids, so I went to the store and my childish heart was won by the neon bandaids. I never had a single bandaid in my entire life that wasn't flesh coloured, being the advanced age that I currently am. So I bought the brightly coloured ones and proudly slapped one on my schnozz.

I have the purple thumbnail because my mother maimed me.

She maliciously slammed the sliding glass door on my thumb. Okay, it was an accident--the door is very difficult to close, so she was on the inside and I was on the outside and we were closing it together, and I didn't realize that the outside handle was too close to the jam to fit your fingers.

But she feels terrible about it, so I'm milking it for all I'm worth. I keep threatening to call Children's Services. And I am learning firsthand how difficult it is to be without an opposable thumb on my lead hand.

I am a chimp.

So yesterday we at last cleaned out the living room and brought the tree in from the back yard.

Actually, first we put it in the tree holder, when it was still outside, but I couldn't get the screws into the trunk, what with all of the screws being stripped and all, so we took out the other tree stand, the one we have never used before.

After about ten tries, we finally got it on and the tree was straight (tricky, because the trunk was like a corkscrew down at the bottom), carried the tree inside, then straightened it out again and screwed the screws in more. It wasn't entirely straight, but after all that, we didn't care, so we just pointed the lean towards the computer table, so, if it fell, it wouldn't crash down in the middle of the living room.

Then I decorated it (with a small pause to first slam the door on my thumb), putting the new red wired ribbon on the tree, leaving off the paper chains and the gold garland this year, and putting the new tin carousel ornament and the glass pickle in prominent positions. It looks completely beautiful.

Then me and my agonizingly painful thumb (I told you I was milking it) and Mom went to the store and bought the Christmas dinner supplies. We're having our Christmas dinner today rather than on the day itself, because we are having Christmas dinner with the Tintocalises around the corner, and Mom had already gotten the turkey (free with buying $50 worth of groceries) before we were invited, not to mention the fact that I had kicked up such a fuss about the stuffing.

I really love that stuffing.

I'm glad we're having the real Christmas dinner, it wouldn't be the same without it. And since we are, I am free to have fun at the Tintocalises with no regret.

Today's horoscope:
Zest, joy, vitality and confidence are featured in your relationships today. If you're seeking a partner, those you attract crave excitement.

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Last Updated Tues 27 December 16:01:09 1998