I have been forgetting to tell stories lately.

When I got home Friday, I opened my door and there was this big black office chair in my little hallway! Remember back in February when my office moved and all the chairs disappeared? Well, one of them magically ended up in the Love Creek office, and I kept meaning to borrow Cynthia's car and pick it up, but I never did.

Well, the company stores flats and set pieces in Cynthia's garage, so this time when they brought a truckload over, Bill kindly lugged my chair. And I am now, for the first time, not sitting at my desk on a hard kitchen chair.

My ass thanks you, Bill!

And then Sunday, Cynthia suddenly said to me, "You have your chair, why don't you borrow the car and go get your TV?"

That's something else I've been procrastinating about, getting a new TV for my bedroom and a CD boombox since I went to KMart in May and they didn't have the ones that I wanted. So Cynthia gave me her car keys and directions to the store and sent me on my way.

I got to KMart without getting lost, which was faintly astonishing, walked in, made a beeline for the electronics section, picked out a good TV and boombox, then settled down to a long winter's nap waiting for an employee to come help me.

Forgive me for making a rather sweeping generalization, but KMart employees are, as a group, the stupidest, most useless, dead-eyed people working in retail today. I know that's how they keep the prices so low, by paying their employees minimum, so they can only get the high school dropouts too dim for McDonalds'.

Or perhaps it's only at this particular KMart.

Anyway, the mouthbreather working in electronics had gone on break without telling anyone and no-one else on the planet earth could possibly ring up a TV without the special training or whatever, so finally he wandered back from jerking off in the bathroom and I pointed out the TV and the boombox, and he strolled away for another ten minutes before bringing back the wrong boombox (but it had the same features for the same price and was the same brand, so I figured that it didn't really matter) and the news that the TV I wanted was not to be found. But I wasn't going to be thwarted this time, dammit, so I picked out another one for $20 more that had an extra feature in which I wasn't particularly interested, but I thought what the hell.

So he went away again and hours went by before he returned, empty-handed, and I was ready to scream, and then he mumbled that he found one of the first TV I picked out and did I want it, and I said yes! so he trudged back to the stockroom for the third time. I guess he couldn't bring it out when he found it, but I was too happy that he had found it to roll me eyes too much.

So then I wrote a check and found out that I needed ID with an address on it (they are not very trusting in New Jersey, are they?), so I sighed and tore it up and paid with cash out of the ATM conveniently located near the exit.

But I still had to get home.

Now one would think that going someplace and not getting lost means that one could easily go back from whence one came easily, but one would be completely mistaken! I drove into Jersey City twice, both times on a road that has a big concrete divider in the center so that it was almost impossible to turn around and go in the opposite direction, and the TV was too big to fit into the trunk properly, so it was tied in and I was glaring at it in the rear-view, cringing every time I went over a bump. And since it took me over an hour to get home what with getting lost and staying lost, that was alot of cringing!

But I eventually got home, and now I have a TV in my bedroom and a working CD player and a working tape record in the same unit both at long last, so it was worth it!

One year ago today:
I wish I could just shave my head.

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Last Updated Tues 11 August 08:32:09 1998