Okay, today I'm finally going over my crit.

I was critiqued in the Theatre of Blood (aka Diary Crit List) about two weeks ago, and I have only just gotten around to discussing it here, and mainly I'm going over it now this very little minute because tomorrow I am debuting the new re-design, which was not prompted by the crit so much as it was prompted by the fact that I redesign every two or three months and it was just time.

The basic consensus was that I am a first rate writer (hooray!) and a twelfth rate designer, if not worse, though it was also mentioned that this messy, cluttered page feels like me, so some people liked it when they got used to it.

There was a great hue and cry against centred text, but I like it so sucks to you, and the black-text-on-white-background-only mafia was very clear on its loathing for the white text on red background, and the light blue on dark red (it's not bloody black, unless you don't load the images) on the main archive page. I find it easy to read, me, but I cannot read stuff that has no capital letters, and I know that that doesn't bother others, so I get it. Doesn't mean I'll change it (and if I do don't get too excited, because re-designs come and re-designs go, baby).

Another thing that inspired some dissent was the construction icon. That's just me being contrary, really. People complained about it, so rather than removing it, I added a second one. Babyish I know, but I think it's funny. And the joke under the construction icon is there for a very specific reason--it's sort of a test joke. If you don't get it, you won't get any of my other jokes, so you might as well split.

Since the crit I did add a date to the top of the page and I moved the "one year ago" link to the bottom, and on the new page I'll have image tags (just for you, Scott), and before the crit I put bookmark tags everywhere and added alt tags. Which no-one mentioned. The alt tags, I mean. I would have heard about it if they weren't there, though!

I also found it interesting that people complained that I didn't carry the design into the archives. But I do! The main archive page has my original colours and flowers and things, but the individual pages have the design of whatever I was doing at the time.

Anyway, on with this massive entry. And thanks to everyone who took the time to wade through this sucker and say (often) nice things about it.

Bits and Pieces

"She writes more like someone speaking than I do. This is a good thing. Easy enough to get a feel of what kind of person Kymm is also. This is also a good thing. But I know she would be too bubbly and outgoing for me. She would get on my nerves in a social situation I suspect. Not her fault mine for being a morose sort of fellow."

"I feel as though Kymm is talking through her journal, mostly from the scatterings of the words "like" and "totally" throughout her entries. It's great to read about someone who's out there living a life she likes."

"Kymm's writing is bold, outspoken, and no-nonsense. And funny as hell. I like it when journalers write their entries like you're talking to them on the phone... this lends a personal quality to the writing you don't see all that often. Not everyone can pull it off... but she can."

"That's only one part of life, though, and page after page of fragments doesn't really do it for me. Kymm skims the surface of a lot of interesting ideas, but I never see her go beneath them. Even when she's funny, she skips over things so quickly that you never know why she bothered to bring it up in the first place.
A suggestion? Pick a topic, any topic, and do an entry just about that. Write five or six paragraphs. Explore it from a few different angles. Just give it a try, and then if you hate it never do it again."

"on a paragraph by paragraph basis, the writing is excellent. kymm never resorts to cliche when she can say something cool instead, and she always can. she's deep, she gets to hidden or rarely explained emotions, and she's tough. All that is cool. the problem is that the entries are extremely fragmented, both visually and subject-wise."

"The construction gif - blech. pitch it"

"I too dislike the disclaimer along with the contruction signs - I walk into the page and she's already on the defense and I haven't had a chance to even get a feel for this page."

"Final note: Kymm's Journal is Kymm. I don't want her to change a bit. This is one person I feel has no hidden agenda. She is who she is and if you don't like it, well...her construction dudes say it all. I have to respect her for that. She doesn't conform for conformitys sake, but only if it suits her. This happens to be the only journal that I would jump through hoops of fire to read. Her writing technique, to me, is priceless. She isn't a member of Archipelago for nothing. Other than the few little nitpicking things, I wouldn't change a thing."

"One particular thing that has always bothered me is the statement:
'And anyone who doesn't like little at work guys can bite me. Hard. This is my page and I'll design it how I like'
Since I can't stand the little "guys at work," in effect, the first thing this journal says to me is "Bite Me." I don't really like that. Sure you can design your page however you like, but I can hit that "back" button too."

"The page itself is a visual mess. it's only because i've been reading the journal for a few months that i even have a clue as to where to start reading an entry. The centered text and huge gaps between paragraphs make the text difficult to read and don't encourage me to stay. It comes across that the author is more concerned with aesthetics than usability. Yellow Times Roman on a red background! Kymm, why do you hate us poor readers so much? There is no logical organization to the text and the entries become blended in with the other material on the page. It's distracting and detracts from my enjoyment of the journal."

"Lastly here I really honestly like center justified text so that is a big thumbs up from me."

"i hate centered text. it was the worst thing about al schroeder's journal, and now that he ditched it, it's much better. if centered text were any good, books would be published that way. the only use for centered text is large fonts of simplistic headlines designed to be read at a glance, not for text that must be mulled over and considered."

"For one thing, it's not at all clear that the opening page is any sort of journal entry. I certainly couldn't tell -- I thought she was just giving us a bunch of random factoids on the way to showing us a nice index of days. It wasn't until I followed the '15 September' link that I realised the frontpage was meant to be an entry."

"One suggestion, for those of us in far off timezones, could ya puhleeeze date the current entry?"

"Ooh, this is a tough call. To be perfectly honest, the site is a disastrous mess. Others have already picked apart the design problems in great detail, and I agree with everything they said. So I needn't repeat the criticism. On the other hand, I'm familiar with the page, I know how it works, I know where to find things, I'm not walloped by the red and yellow anymore. It may sound strange, but to me this giant, clumsy, ugly, impractical page is a part of Kymm's identity. Which does NOT imply that I think Kymm is giant, clumsy, ugly and impractical. (Don't be smart!) So I'd be sad if she changed it."

"If you change only one thing, Kymm, please, please, please put size tags on your graphics. When I hit your site in the morning, the text loads quickly but for the next ten seconds it keeps skipping down the page while Inet's pestilential server farts out one little gif after another. I start reading and then I have to chase after the words with the scroll bar. Which is damnably annoying. "

"This girl is loud and opinionated, which isn't a bad thing, just not my scene.
The style of her web pages reflect this. It's probably the best example of an online journal's design matching the personality of the author. The bright colours in her background really grab your attention but sometime mike the text a little hard on the eyes."

"The colors are garish. There are too many images and busy things happening -- where should my eye look? The text is small -- hey, not everyone out here has really great vision, okay? I don't like getting any closer to the screen than I have to. I have a 13 or 14 inch monitor on my Powerbook, and nothing of the latest entry on the page registers on the screen. I have to page down to even see if there's anything new. Urk."

"If Kymm redesigned, would we still know it was her?"

"What can I say that hasn't already been said? I wasn't a daily reader of this journal before reading it for the critique. I was converted to a big fan the very second I stopped going "yuck" at the red & yellow. Getting the design out of the way of that great content is the #1 task Kymm has ahead of her, if she wants it."

"Kymm's index page took some getting used to. The black text on red background was a little hard to read at first, and while the aliens were cute, they tended to distract me from the writing at hand. Maybe a smaller line of aliens separating days or subjects?
But, in the end... this is a perfect example of the design fitting the person's personality. So I'm not sure I'd change anything except maybe making the alien dividers smaller, so they don't conflict so much with the surrounding text, and possibly changing the graphics in the archives to match the current entries.. that way it'll be a more unified composition, and it also won't take so gosh-darned long to load."

"From reading through the recent entries, I'm under the very STRONG opinion that Kymm must not only like, but LOVE flowers. Just a tad overuse with the flowers. (I'm guessing one of her tattoos includes flowers?"

"in general, there is way too much clutter. I'd begin the text of the entries as close to the top as possible and save all the juicy nuggets like the link to a year ago and all instances of the alien divider for the bottom of the page. people want to read the entry and deal with the other stuff after they've had the fix they came for and still want more.
the archives are similarly cluttered. these should be left-justified and the dividers should be tossed. also, it would be cool if a little of the design of the front page could be used in the archives. i like more of a consistent connection between front page and archive than i'm seeing here. and getting to the archives from the main page is notespecially easy either, since the link to them is lost among so much clutter."

"What is with the Randy Newman thing??"

"So basically, Kymm intelligent. Kymm funny. Kymm good. Me like Kymm."

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Last Updated Fri 24 July 19:44:09 1998