More Candyman stuff, darlings. I admit it, I'm slightly obsessed!

I got a funny e-mail from my friend James teasing me about having a trophy boyfriend, and I told him that plain girls don't usually get to be with such pretty pretty boys, so we get somewhat over-excited about the looks.

But what I fell for was the personality.

On Saturday when we were walking back from the garden, I was torn between being proud to be walking down the street with such a beautiful man and being embarrassed that people would think "What's that FAT OLD HAG doing with him?" and we passed this beautiful girl walking this dog, and his head whips around to stare as she passed and my heart sank down, and he said "Did you see that beautiful dog? I love golden retrievers! What a gorgeous, expressive face!"

I figured that either he had amazing presence of mind or was about the greatest guy I've ever met.

The Return of the Steak Shark.
It's been so long since I've eaten steak that I had forgotten about the Steak Shark. You see, when I eat steak, normally mild-mannered Monty goes into a frenzy! He swarms around purring like an outboard motor, and staring at every bite I take with a horrified look on his face as though I had actually snatched it from his bowl.

Of course, since I do leave extra on my plate for him to eat when I'm done, it does actually work.

At work the other day, Yolonda and some others ordered in some coffee and there was one too many, so she came out and offered it to me. I told her that I don't drink coffee, so she went into the kitchen to see if anyone wanted it.

She saw Linus (so named for a shirt he wore one dress-down Friday), and said "We have an extra coffee, would you like it?" and Linus said "What's in it?" "Well, it's light." "Cream?" "No, milk." And Linus is dithering and dothering, and I said "Look, just take it for crying out loud! It's a free cup of coffee!"

And he said "Poison would be free too."

What a tool.

One year ago today:
If you fit this description, you are, apparently, my dream man!

* Yesterday / Index / This Month / Tomorrow *

E-Mail

Logo and graphics by Lucy Huntzinger
Background by Ace of Space

This page was written by hand. My hand. Only pussies use HTML editors.
Last Updated Fri 7 August 18:22:09 1998