So I was walking down the stairs to the subway last night, and they had been washing the concrete so I slipped and fell down the stairs in a big puddle. I threw out my shoulder and it hurts like hell, but the most annoying bit was the fact that my beautiful suede jacket is now covered with filthy water.

Grumble grumble.

I have put together a kit.

You see, there are all these things that I want to lug around with me every day, but I can barely remember to move my wallet, keys and lighter from one coat pocket to another, so I'm always going "Damn! I left my checkbook in my other bag!" So I bought this little makeup bag and in it I put a pen, comb, two hair elastics, my spare keys (I am pathological about losing my keys), nail clippers, lip balm, hand cream, body lotion, Aleve, sunglasses and the checkbook.

Isn't that perfect? Now all I have to do is move the kit from one bag to another. Or, knowing me, lose it.

But at least I'll know exactly what I lost!

It was a very laughing audience at the show last night.

A sort of aggressively laughing audience. They laughed loudly at anything that they thought was funny and even louder at everything that they thought was stupid.

Of course, when the show began, the actors were so used to completely ignoring the audience that they were stomping all over the laughs with giant booted feet. Some of them (not the big three--Peter Rabbit, Ken and Ed) have as much idea of how to time a laugh as they do of how to fly.

On my way to the show I stopped at a deli for a sarney and there was this guy fixing the frozen yogurt machine, and his t-shirt said:

Frozen Dessert
Machine Cleaning
Company Inc.

I thought it was so funny. Like the guy who owns it was trying to think of a name and went "What do we do? Well, we are a company that cleans frozen dessert machines...Eureka!!" Either that or he thought that his customers aren't very bright.

It would be really funny if the t-shirt was white with two thick light blue stripes, like the generic packaging for "beer" or "corn flakes".

One year ago today:
"Hi, my name is Andy. Do you have any heroin?"

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