I was going to the laundromat yesterday to pick up my 35 pounds of laundry (yep, I was down to wearing the really hateful socks), and I passed this regular looking guy, around 27-28 years old wearing jeans and a leather jacket and a baseball cap and he was...wait for it...

Smoking a pipe!

Yes! Swear to God! I have never seen anyone under the age of 70 smoking a pipe before, and I was stifling my giggles but when I passed by him it smelled so good...

I sure hope that's then next big craze, I hate cigars!

I swear to God, the boyfriend of one of the girls I share an office with is the stupidest guy in the world.

Every time he calls, I answer the phone, and I say my name, or yes or something, and there is this silence. And I say "Umm, hello?" and this little tiny voice says "May I speak with Michelle?" and I hand the phone over.

Now, I can understand him being thrown the first, second or even third time, but why does he persist on being startled when the exact same thing happens every single time?

There is this commercial on the radio with two new lovers walking down the street and talking very oochie-woochie to each other (and I'm paraphrasing here):

"O, darling, I've never been this happy!"
"We're going to be together forever!"
"Would you like to cross the street, my only love?"
"O, sweetums, allow me to push the button!"
(screech of brakes/scream of lovers)
Announcer: "Need new brakes?"

Every time I hear that, I shriek with laughter. And I hear it about three times a day.

My office-mates are starting to think I'm a loon.

I get these e-mails from readers and they always say something like "I know this may sound peculiar, but I feel like I know you", like I'm going to say "How dare you say such a thing! You don't know me one little bit!", but of course, they do know me! If they read this page, they know who I really am, but what makes it feel odd is that I don't know them.

It's like being a movie star or something, except for the part where you're famous and rich and stuff.

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Last Updated Wed 12 August 14:00:09 1998