So Wonder Boy hasn't called me yet, but as we have established, I have the upper shoe, so he must not have gotten the message.

I'll call him again today, and I thought I'd say this (special thanks to Melody for helping me write this):

"Hi, it's me Kymm. I've been sitting by the phone since Saturday, and you haven't called yet! I've been weeping steadily since Monday afternoon. If you don't call me back this time, then I'll be heartbroken and I'll have to stop fantasizing about you and wearing your shoes, and you simply CAN'T allow that to happen! Especially since the entire internet is involved in this pseudo-relationship at this point--how can you fight the will of the people? You know, I've been celibate for seven years, and you're pretty much my last chance at this whole relationship thing. I mean, my biological clock is ticking like a deathwatch beetle, Not to mention the fact that I am almost 33 years old, which is pretty damn close to dying alone in a small, dark apartment with 27 cats! But you don't have to worry about a thing, as I have my wedding dress all picked out, and the ceremony is planned and the reception and all, so just relax and stop trying to fight the inevitable! So um, call back and we can arrange for you to pick up those shoes, okay?"

What do you reckon? Too subtle?

So I took the Purity Test, you know, where you say all of the stuff you've done and the higher your percentage, the more pure you are?

My score was 72%! SEVENTY-TWO PERCENT!!!!!
I am 32 years old! What I have been doing with my life?!

I was saying today that Wonder Boy may be six years younger than me, but he gets maturity points for having his own car and wearing hard shoes, and then I found out from Cynthia that that woman on his answering machine is his mother, so the fact that he lives at home sucks those points right back again.

So I walked into my office and I looked at my chair and it was covered with cat hair! It was as though my cats had come into the office, enthusiastically rubbed themselves all over my chair, then snuck back home without my knowledge.

The fact that it all came off of my butt is pretty scary, actually...

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