Bill Zuckert

15 December 1915-23 January 1997

1 February

I decided, for the first time in the history of this page, to keep the update that I had uploaded on Thursday up on Friday as well, but now I'm back to doing dailies again.

I think I'll leave the pictures up for a bit, and I don't know how soon I will be going back to my "four anecdotes per day" layout. I'm thinking that I may keep this a bit more free form for a while.

When I did the Thursday update and wrote about my father's death, Columbo was playing in the background, and right after I uploaded the page I heard a familiar voice. And it was my Da, playing the police captain on the episode and it was just so wonderful to see him. It was like he was telling me that it was all going to be alright.

Losing a parent is like joining a club; no-one who has not also lost a parent can have the vaguest idea what you are going through. They can empathize and they can feel for you, but they can't really know. And it's the worst thing in the world. I am very lucky, though. My friend Melanie also recently lost her father, whom she was estranged from for many years. It's awful not having my Daddy anymore, but at least I loved him and knew that he loved me and I have many wonderful memories of him.

Changing the subject, my show, Naked Mole Rats in the World of Darkness, opened last night. It went wonderfully; I was very pleased. However afterward, because I am a very bad ungrateful person with no self-esteem, I suddenly became wildly jealous of Geoffrey. I am still so happy that he was able to take over the show and he really did a terrific job, but I suddenly realized that two of my actors, without question, like him better than they like me, and consider him to be their director rather than me. Two other actors, I know for a fact, like me and my style better, and the other four are probably pretty ambivalent, but I want everybody to like me best.

I am very ashamed of myself...

The first Christmas picture, 1965,
and the last Christmas picture, 1996.

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Last Updated Tues 18 August 11:53:09 1998