This woman where I work, when she saw the anti-biotics that I'm taking, said "Wow! Those are strong! You've gotta make sure that you take those with lots of food, because otherwise you'll get diarrhea!"

And now whenever I see her she always says "I don't know how you can come to work! If I was on those anti-biotics, I'd just stay at home on the toilet all day!!"

These are mental pictures that I am intensely uninterested in having in my brain...

I saw the most hilarious thing in the window of Bloomingdale's recently.

I was walking by and noticed that they had put up the Xmas window displays, so I had a decco at them, and they are really well done. They have these words on the windows, quotes from famous Christmas songs and things, and scenes having something to do with the lyrics inside. Like "I'll have a blue Christmas without you" and everything is blue and there are lots of Elvis busts, or "Every time a bell rings an angel gets her wings" and there's all this angel-y stuff.

Well, one of the windows says "What are these? I wanted cha-cha heels!" and I stopped, my jaw dropped, and then I about busted a gut laughing.

Now, I know Greg got that one, but I'll explain it for the rest of you. You see, there's this John Waters film called Female Trouble, in which Divine plays a very bad person indeed, and when she gets a pair of saddle shoes for Christmas she screams "What are these? I wanted cha-cha heels!" and murders her parents with the Christmas tree.

I have an extremely strong feeling that no-one at Bloomingdales knows that that's what's on their window, and an even stronger feeling that very few people on the Upper East Side walking by the window are gonna get the reference. It was like a present for me!

And in searching the web, I found this.

The other day I got out of the subway at 42nd St. and there was a guy playing the bagpipes.

Some sort of commuter torture project set up by the MTA?

This got a pretty fucking sparse response, which means that much less postage for me, baby, but I'll keep it up for a couple more days anyway:

Alright, who wants a Xmas card? And if you think I already have your address, kindly remember how disorganized I am and re-send, okay?

One year ago today:
"Now, surely you're too old for a stocking THIS year!"

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Last Updated Fri 29 May 23:14:09 1998