Everything is so up and down. First the down:

My Mom is depressed. I mean really depressed. She went through a period of depression after my Da died, and she went on anti-depressants, which didn't work that well because they made her sleep 18 hours a day, but she got through the depression.

Now, it's back. She's not sleeping or eating and she doesn't want to do anything but talk to me on the phone 50 times a day. And I want to be supportive--I am being supportive, but it's exhausting. She wants me to move back to LA, but she knows that I don't want to, so she's not pushing, but the pressure of cheering her up is enormous.

I'm trying to get her to a therapist, or to leave the house or get back into her life, but she doesn't have the energy. Now she says that she wants to come to NY and visit me, which I think is a much better idea than my going out there, and New York itself might help her get interested in doing stuff, but when she goes back to LA it might all come back again.

I don't know what to do. I'm not strong enough to carry her for long, I'm used to her carrying me.

Now the good thing:

He called me! Wonderboy called me!
He left a message on my machine saying that he could come into the city on Saturday and maybe we could take some pictures, or just hang out, and to call him. I was floating several inches above the chair.

I think I'm about twelve years old.

The other good thing was rehearsal.

For the very first time, I had the entire cast together at one time! It was a not bad at all rehearsal, though one guy is having line problems, and one girl keeps wanting to add props and costumes, when I am having as few as possible.

And we open Friday!

On Talk Soup the other day they showed this clip from Sally Jessy Raphael in which a woman was complaining about how her husband was running her life and everything, and then the guy came onstage and the audience was booing lustily, so the guy grabbed his crotch at the audience.

WELL! Sally Jessy strode up to that guy and said "I have never seen anything so disgusting in my life! Get OUT!!" and kicked his ass off the show.

Ummm...that was the most disgusting thing that she has ever seen? Has she never watched her own show before?

One year ago today:
No smoking.

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