29 April
In my "authors to emulate" list from a couple of days ago I accidentally omitted Bill Bryson, a brilliantly hilarious author who writes about his adventures traveling around Britain and America and he's also got a great book about the development of the English language. Doesn't sound hilarious, I know, but this guy could make an ingredient list funny.
I'm reading Notes From a Small island now, and I've forgotten that I really cannot read Bill Bryson on the subway, because I'm always red-faced and shaking and trying not to bark with laughter so I'm emitting these strangled squeaky sounds like Muttley and finishing off with a very impressive cough. People sitting next to me quietly stand up and move to another seat.
"In the morning I awoke to find rain falling over the hills in great blown sheets. I breakfasted, settled the bill and spent a protracted period of time struggling into waterproofs in the front hallway. It's a funny thing. I dress myself most days without incident, but give me a pair of waterproof trousers to put on and it's as if I've never stood unaided. I spent twenty minutes crashing into walls and furniture, falling into pot plants and, in one particularly notable outburst, hopping on one leg for some 15 feet before wrapping my neck around a newel post."
Every day it seems someone is popping out of my past! I mean, I got a party invitation from Mark Robinson yesterday!
Mark Robinson!!
Alright, I know you don't know Mark Robinson, but trust me, I haven't heard that name in forever and a day!
Rosie Perez was on Letterman the other night, and I swear, her upper arms looked like my mother's! Rosie, if you're gonna wear spaghetti straps, lift some weights!
Overheard on the train:
Guy #1: I read that in five years no-one will have to leave the house because they'll be able to do everything with computers! They'll be able to order groceries with their computer!
Guy #2: Well, you can do that now...if you have a telephone.
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