You know what really chaps my ass?

Men always complain about how girls don't want nice guys, that they like charming assholes that will treat them like shit. Well, what burns me is when sweet good trusting men fall for fire-breathing bitch cunts from hell.

This is not sour grapes on my part--I have alot of men friends that I care very much about, but have no interest in dating, and they really need looking after. They may be very intelligent, but when they start thinking with their dicks and falling for these evil women, you just want to clonk them on the head and bawl into their ears "Buy a motherfucking clue!", but by the time they have really lost their heads, all you can do is nod and smile as they tell you at great length all of the glories of this angel come down to earth no matter how much you want to tell them that their girlfriend is, in fact, the Antichrist. Then, one day, the scales fall from their eyes, and they come to you with stories of the horror, and you look at them and gently smile and say:

"Welcome back to the real world."

I've been hearing this hideous commercial on the radio over and over until I'm ready to pitch it out the window. It's for some sort of children's tape that they personalize for the child like this:

"A is for apple.
B is for Brittany (that's you!)
And C is for cat!"

And they have a woman on saying "Every time we're in the car, she always insists on hearing it, over and over again!"

I'd drive over a cliff, me.

There's a new restaurant catty corner from me where the best pizza parlour in Brooklyn used to be. It was closed for a long time, and then I noticed that they were remodeling, and I was really exciting, wondering what would be there. The other day the sign went up.

"Tofu Garden
Chinese-Thai-Spanish Cuisine"

They took away my pizza parlour for this?

How come when I go to a deli or a bakery and I look at the cakes, they always have a big sign saying

"New York Cheesecake!"

I don't get it--we're in New York! What the hell else would it be?
Nebraska cheesecake?

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