I'm sitting in my living room, and I'm starving. I decide to have a Pizza For One. I go to the kitchen, open the freezer, and am immediately repulsed at the idea of Pizza For One.

This business of finding all food disgusting is the greatest diet ever!

Just don't do it?

Hmmm...
That reminds me of another anti-drug slogan, but I can't quite put my finger on it...

I called a friend recently and I didn't have his extension, so the voice mail said to me: "Using the touch tone key pad of your phone, spell the last name of the person that you wish to reach".

What key pad do they expect me to think I should use? The calculator on my computer?

I was on the phone with my Mom today, and she was describing a neat pair of boots that she thought I'd want. She said "Well, the heels are 2 3/4", and you're 5'10 1/2", so with the heels you'd be 5'13 1/4"! That's almost 6 feet!" I said, what are you talking about, Mom, that's over six feet, there are twelve inches in a foot!" And she said "Not sixteen?"

I said "Mom, that's ounces."

* Yesterday / Index / This Month / Tomorrow *

E-Mail

Thanks to Lucy Huntzinger for the logo.
Thanks to Amber's Free Art for the background and graphics.

This page was written by hand. My hand. Only pussies use HTML editors.
Last Updated Mon 24 August 22:01:09 1998