I have now been in this hell-hole known as My Job for a week and a day where each minute flies by like an eon. Every morning as I'm riding up in the elevator I whisper to myself, like in Apocalypse Now "The Horror...The Horror..."

I am now OFFICIALLY one of the great awards sluts on the net! Go here and find out!

Hit number 3000 is coming up fast! If it is you, please e-mail me!

Got a call into my desk here at the laboratory in New York, and the guys said "Is this the Hyatt in Tahoe?"

I said "Umm, not really."

Got a call asking for John, our C.E.O, and the guy said "Tell him it's Chris from Betty Ford", so I transferred it, saying "It's Chris from Betty Ford". John later comes to my desk and says "That's Feddy/Ford, not Betty Ford."

Oops...

Okay, I'll admit it, I do work in a medical lab. But we only do cancer testing, and besides, the lab is a floor below me. But this tiny little old lady came up to my desk the other morning and said "Do you have anything for a hard stool?" I said no, we didn't , and she said "But it really hurts!" I told her again that we didn't have anything, and she said "O well, I'll wait 'till I get home then."

The punch line came three hours later, when she came back to my desk and said "Right after I talked to you, it came out fine!"

O, how I wanted to say "The laxative powers of my voice are legion!"

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Last Updated Sat 22 August 21:46:09 1998