We teched tonight, which means that we worked out the lights and everything and ran the show for the last time before opening. Well, after it was all over, Le got us all together and gave us a few notes and told us not to get all excited tomorrow and change the pace and all, and then he asked whether we had any questions, and the stupidest girl in the cast (most of the real idiots are men) piped up:

"For my subtext I have decided that my character is just out of a mental institution, and is just slowly falling apart, and I was wondering if, at a certain point, I could bring out a prescription bottle and take a pill."

I was going to just leave it at that, but I feel I should explain what a blindingly stupid thing this was.
1. You don't change things after tech.
2. Le was exhausted and the last thing anyone should do it ask stupid questions.
and
3. Your subtext is your own business, and not only is it just not done to tell anyone else, subtext not one's own is about the most boring thing on earth to hear about, and you should keep your big yap shut.

Afterwards, I went into the dressing room and said:
"I have this subtext where I pull out a gun during notes and shoot the stupidest actress in the world, may I do that?"

Remember how I said yesterday that I mad about an actor in the show, and had been for simply ages? Well, at rehearsal, Le said to Bill "Hey, little drummer boy, keep quiet!", and both Crush Boy (not his real name) and I started singing "Come, they told me pah-rup-pup-pup-pum..." at the exact same time, and he turns and says "O no! Zuckert's and my minds are working together!", and Le said "You know what that means, don't you? Next year...'Goin' to the chapel and you're gonna get mah-hah-harried...'" And Crush Boy said "I don't have enough body piercings and tattoos for Zuckert", and I said "He wouldn't have me if I were the last woman on earth", and he said "O, there are a couple of women I would take after you", and Le said "What you don't understand is that he's getting older and more desperate" and it was all awfully humiliating.

I swear, three hundred years ago Le would have been burned as a witch.

Ronnie, who plays my husband in the show, always gets into character hours before showtime and I always get into character one second before going onstage.

We represent the entire spectrum of actor silliness.

You know what I hate? When I'm walking down the street and I'm thinking or something, and some guy goes "C'mon, baby, smile!" I just wanna reach down his throat and pull out his heart and show it to him still beating before he drops dead at my feet.

Not that it bothers me or anything...

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Last Updated Fri 21 August 23:26:09 1998