In the show I'm doing, (The Festival of Our Lord of the Ship by Pirandello), there is a giant pig killing taking place offstage, and at rehearsal tonight, Le was telling people to for heaven's sake take their moments. He said "The hams aren't being slaughtered in the wings in this show, ladies and gentlemen; they're all over the damn stage!"

There are 35 people in the show, a bunch of whom are, of course, idiots, and Le is very tough, but he's trying to keep people's morale up, so he will lavishly praise the stupider actors for managing to cross the stage without falling on their faces.

Also in the show is a man who I have had the most enormous crush on for the past three years. He's handsome and smart and talented and funny and he wouldn't look twice at me if I was the last breathing woman on the face of this good green earth.

My big pet peeves in dressing rooms are those annoying girls who want the door closed. It gets to be a million degrees in there with the door closed, and nobody's looking at them anyway, and they should just get over themselves. Well, in this show there's this girl who sits right by the door, topless, with her droopy, nasty old tits hitting her belly button, putting on her makeup and insisting that the door remain closed.

I may well kill her by the end of the run.

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Last Updated Fri 21 August 23:26:09 1998